Forgive, but don’t forget

By Dr T. Selva

The words we express verbally or in writing possess the potential to either bring about healing or inflict harm as we engage in our daily interactions.

As our fingers dance across touchscreens and our voices resonate through cyberspace, we must be acutely aware that our words impact far beyond the immediate moment.

Though seemingly intangible, the virtual realm harbours real emotions, people, and consequences.

The ease with which we can articulate our thoughts should be accompanied by a mindfulness of the potential emotional ripples resulting from our digital expressions.

Words possess a unique power that can leave a lasting good or lousy impression far beyond the effects of physical force or violence.

The instant access has also led to a need for more pause and consideration for our words’ potential impact on the receiver or reader.

This understanding becomes even more critical as I respond to a reader’s email seeking healing from emotional pain caused by hurtful words from a close one.

Experiencing hurt from someone we deeply care about is not an uncommon occurrence. Nevertheless, we must recognise that within us lies an incredible ability for healing and resilience.

So, how can we heal without holding grudges from such situations?

The journey toward healing often begins with acknowledging our pain and allowing ourselves to feel the emotions that arise – sadness, hurt, and frustration are valid responses to such conditions.

As I address this topic in this week’s column, I want to emphasise the significance of carefulness in our verbal or written communication, mainly via WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram.

While it may be easy to share our views quickly, we must exercise caution and compassion in our choice of words, which is sharper than any weapon.

We should foster a culture of understanding and empathy by reflecting on how our words might affect others.

One first step towards recuperation is acknowledging the pain and allowing yourself to experience your emotions fully.

Why? Validating your emotions of anger or sadness is crucial in moving forward because suppressing or denying your feelings can prolong the curative process.

In this period, self-reflection can provide insights into your emotions and help you gain clarity by examining the circumstances.

If the person who hurt you is still in your life, setting clear boundaries to protect yourself from further harm is essential.

Communicate your boundaries assertively but respectfully because establishing healthy limits will help rebuild trust and ensure your emotional well-being.

Reaching out to family and friends is vital by talking about your feelings and experiences and remembering you are not alone and that you have a support system.

Seeking assistance can be comforting and help you bounce back with fresh energy, hope and strength.

Forgiveness and forgetting can be some of the most challenging parts of the healing process.

The best way to approach this would be to forgive but not forget.

It doesn’t necessarily mean condoning the hurtful actions, but it lets you let go of the negative emotions that keep you trapped.

However, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, as it’s essential to learn from the experience and protect yourself in the future.

To prevent yourself from flashbacks, engage in positive distractions that will make you feel good like spending time with supportive friends, and focus on personal growth and new experiences.

Engage in self-care activities that nurture your mind, body, and soul like exercising, performing meditation, having a well-balanced diet and seeking solace in spirituality.

Rebuilding and restoring your emotional wounds would take time and requires patience and developing compassion. There is no specific timeline.

Avoid taking revenge or resorting to actions that further damage your emotional pain.

Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes, people act from their pain and insecurities.

Finally, remember that the law of karma suggests that negative actions, such as using hurtful words on others, can create negative consequences for the individual who performs those actions.

These effects may manifest in the short term and impact their future experiences, relationships, and circumstances.

Award-winning author Dr T. Selva is a writer of the bestseller book Vasthu Sastra Guide. To purchase a copy of the book, call Devi at 0412623017. He can be contacted at drtselvas@gmail.com Facebook: Vasthu Sastra; Website: www.vasthusastra.com